ALFA TAXI

Three men got into a taxi. The taxi driver quickly realized they were drunk, so he merely started the engine and then immediately turned it off. He turned to them and said, We’ve arrived at your destination!
The first man paid the fare, the second thanked him, and the third slapped him. The driver was astonished and immediately suspected that the man had figured out his trick. Still, he asked, Why did you hit me?
The man answered in horror, “Next time drive more carefully! You almost killed us!”

A woman asks the taxi driver: How much will it cost to take me to the airport?
The taxi driver: 250 dollars.
How much would it cost if I take my husband with me?
The taxi driver: Still 250 dollars.
The woman turns to her husband and says: You see, I told you, you are not worth anything.

David Beckham sat in a taxi and notices that the driver is constantly watching him in the rearview mirror. After about five minutes, the driver finally speaks: Give me a hint!?
Beckham turns to him: I had an amazing career at Manchester United, more than a hundred times I played for England, besides that I got married to a Spice Girls member. Is that enough?
The driver shakes his head: No, friend, I meant, where are you going?

The taxi driver without hesitation drives through the red light, without even looking. The passenger blinks and shouts: What are you doing?! The light was red!
The driver calmly turns away: Don't worry. My cousin does this all the time.
The passenger calms down a little, until the driver drives through another red light. This time the passenger almost throws him off the seat: You're crazy?! You'll do this again and kill us both!
The driver again nonchalantly moves his hand: Ah, don't worry, my cousin does this all the time.
After a few moments, they reach the green light. This time the driver suddenly stops, slowly turns into the intersection and then cautiously drives forward. The passenger now asks in a tired voice: What was that then?! The light was green!
The driver nods and lazily turns away: Yes, I know. But you never know … maybe my cousin is nearby.

A few days ago I went with friends to drink some beer and then a margarita. It wasn't the best idea.
Since I knew I had looked a little too deep into the glass, I decided to do something I had never done before: I took a taxi home.
The taxi took me past the police blockade, but the taxis easily drove past it.
So I arrived home safely and without incident, which really surprised me.
I had never driven a taxi before and I don't know where I got it from.

Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate, it's not healthy!
Man: My grandfather lived 108 years.
Taxi driver: What then, because he ate chocolate?
Man: No, because he minded his own business!